(and yet to yennefer it feels all too real and possible, suffocating so. enough that she almost did something stupid. given enough time, she still might. but for now she sits on the edge of his bed. )
Why? I don't know know, the spell didn't exactly list his motives, but as it would leave us as lifeless husks who would depend on him to survive I could hazard a few guesses. (and none of them good.)
I don't know how to stop it either. But there is something I thought you could help me look into -- the spell listed ingredients from various types of monsters, if we could find them and gather similar ingredients -- maybe I could find some way to break the spell or counter it. The problem is some of them may be only found in his private collection, though I was told he brought them for some wretched carnival last year.
We could gather them for you to research, but you also might be getting the components for Mammon to finish the spell.
[Geralt's mind goes immediately to the possibility. It's not that she's wrong. Not in the least, but having all of the ingredients necessary to complete the spell raises the possibility, and he can't say he likes it.]
Yes? No? I don't know but I can't just stand around and hope a better solution presents itself.
( as it is she feels like she's not doing enough, and it's driving her insane. restlessness has never been a god look for her. with tech had tried to keep her armor up but with geralt she lets some of that very real fear bleed through )
So we just do nothing and wait for it to get worse anyways?
(her voice hitches, a mixture of anger and desperation and deep sadness because she hates how helpless she feels. she doesn't know either. if it was the magic of their world -- she'd know it like the back of her hand. but she is out of her depth and it is wearing on her more and more.)
Every minute I do nothing I can feel that collar around my neck pulling tighter and tighter. I would rather die than fall completely under his control.
I know that. An acquaintance of mine, Sara, suggested I speak to Lilith. She seemed to think she was more trustworthy. And I have helped with her spells before. (which means she knows lilith is at least familiar with the magic here. that could be useful. she does not pull away from his touch but instead leans into it)
I just that our plan seems to boil down to waiting for someone else to do something. I want to do something.
(but hey, it's progress that she's talking about this with geralt and not just acting impulsively -- it probably helps that she has memories of when they would talk things through -- those memories might be false but they felt real, they still make it a little easier.)
We're not waiting for them to do something. We're convincing them to. And maybe if they give us more information, you'll find out there's more for you to do yourself.
[Geralt runs his hands through his hair, frustrated. It seems like she thinks he likes this, that he enjoys being passive.]
It's not as though I don't wish there were more for us to do too. But you know as well as I do that sometimes the best thing to do is listen.
(it's not that she thinks he enjoys being passive, but he's also not the one everyone keeps looking at like a bomb ready to go off. she's trying her best to wait, and to listen, and ironically it's the fact that so many people do seem to expect her to do something rash that has kept her from doing so so far.
spite is powerful motivation. her hands ball up in her lap now.)
Listening has never been my strong suit. And it's not -- I don't think this is easy for you. I didn't intend to imply that.
But currying favor is something you're good at, at least for a while. Long enough to get what you want.
[She might not be good at keeping up the act. Geralt has seen Yennefer end more than one of her relationships of convenience. She can never make things last, not forever.
Not that he's one to judge. He has had the luxury of leaving when a job was over.]
(to be fair, it's always harder to keep up her relationships of convenience when he's around. it's annoying, but true.
just like it's annoying but true that gathering the ingredients could just give mammon what he needs to finish things. they need to play smart.)
It'd be so much easier if we just knew the way things worked here. The magic here...is not like the chaos I wield. There are few threats in our world we don't understand between the two of us, but here....
(yennefer turns to face him, putting her hand up to cup his face. in these moments it's easy to see how much this has taken a toll on him as much as her.)
I do trust you. (if she didn't she would have probably acted without talking to him or tried to manipulate or talk him out of his reservations.)
(she is trying to communicate, to trust him, hard as it is. there's a lot maybe she still struggles to trust him with, but she knows he'll do anything within his power to help free her. it just might not be enough. if she fully trusted him maybe she would tell him about the last resort she and tech came up with. he would definitely be against that idea and so she doesn't.
old habits die hard, especially when you feel backed into a corner.)
I suppose the more accurate thing to say is I'm trying to trust you. I'm choosing to. (she doesn't have to say for now for the words to hang in the air all the same.)
[He listens to her, not interrupting. It would not surprise him to know she's holding information back.
He expects it.
What that information might be, he's less sure of.]
That will have to be good enough. [Because it would be unfair to ask for more. At this point, she doesn't owe him any more than that.] The fact you're trying counts for something.
(she doesn't say anything in response to that but instead brushes her thumb against his cheek before leaning in to press her lips against his. they haven't kissed since the spell was broken, and maybe it's a mistake to do it now, but she just wants, even for a moment, to feel something other than sadness and desperation. maybe there's not else they can do in this exact moment then offer each other some comfort.)
[There's still a part of Geralt for which casual kissing seems normal for them. Natural, as it had been for all of their months of illusory marriage and all of the false memories that came with it. He remembers kissing Yennefer's forehead when he left for work, and wrapping his arms around her from behind as be burried his face in her neck to kissing the slope of her throat. He remembers all of the goodnight kisses, the hello kisses, the surprise kisses when she would try—and succede—at distracting him from his grading.
Those come back to him now, more than the passionate kisses of their own real rocky relationship.
Missing them is an ache.
He returns this kiss experimentally, more tentative than would normally be his habit.]
(yennefer remembers how easy it all was at as well. him distracting her from cooking with his large arms around her waist and his warm mouth on her neck. forehead kisses. her kissing him on the cheek as he left for work. soft kisses pressed against his chest in the aftermath of their lovemaking. their marriage may have been an illusion but the memories feel real. maybe that's part of what pushes her to seek comfort from him now, something she may never have done in the past.
her kiss is equally tentative, as if she's trying to figure out what their rhythm should be now. it would be easier maybe if they had fought and collided out of passion, falling back into old habits. still he doesn't pull away or tell her it's a bad idea (though it probably is) so after a few minutes she parts her lips, brushing her tongue against the entrance of his mouth.)
[When has this thing between them ever been a good idea? There's very little reason to expect that's changed now.
But it does feel good. Comforting. The touch of Yennefer's tongue sparks a low, gentle warmth in him. It's as tentative as any of it, and so much more fragile than their old passion, but it's more than enough for him to part his lips, fir his tongue to meet hers as he tilts his head and leans into a deeper kiss.]
(it is comforting. soothing and familiar, both from the lives they really lived and the ones they were brainwashed into. it all blurs together. it feels much more fragile than what they shared before, but maybe that's fitting considering how fragile she herself feels, even if she would never admit it out loud. she remembers finding comfort in his arms, allowing herself to. maybe she can now, even just for a moment.
she sighs softly, letting her violet eyes flutter shut as she sinks into the kiss. she doesn't try to push it into anything else just yet -- not like she might have normally. right now just being close to him like this....feeling like she isn't alone in all this. it's enough.)
[That's enough for him. That proof she's here, that she's solid and real, and not about the disappear the way that their life together did, that their daughters did...
Slowly, Geralt winds his arms around Yennefer. Not to crush her against him, but pulling her carefully closer, looking for the weight and shape of her body, offering his own as reassurance.]
(maybe that's what she needs to, a feeling like she isn't about to disappear, that she isn't already mammon's slave somehow. whatever has been taken from her, she can still make her own choices, she can still choose who and what she wants. when his arms wrap around her waist she shifts herself so she can climb into his lap, one leg straddling each side of him as she tries to press as close to him as possible. )
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(and yet to yennefer it feels all too real and possible, suffocating so. enough that she almost did something stupid. given enough time, she still might. but for now she sits on the edge of his bed. )
Why? I don't know know, the spell didn't exactly list his motives, but as it would leave us as lifeless husks who would depend on him to survive I could hazard a few guesses. (and none of them good.)
I don't know how to stop it either. But there is something I thought you could help me look into -- the spell listed ingredients from various types of monsters, if we could find them and gather similar ingredients -- maybe I could find some way to break the spell or counter it. The problem is some of them may be only found in his private collection, though I was told he brought them for some wretched carnival last year.
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[Geralt's mind goes immediately to the possibility. It's not that she's wrong. Not in the least, but having all of the ingredients necessary to complete the spell raises the possibility, and he can't say he likes it.]
Are you sure you want to risk that?
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Yes? No? I don't know but I can't just stand around and hope a better solution presents itself.
( as it is she feels like she's not doing enough, and it's driving her insane. restlessness has never been a god look for her. with tech had tried to keep her armor up but with geralt she lets some of that very real fear bleed through )
What if it doesn't?
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[And more than anything, he wishes he knew more. He's not used to not having information. Witchers know their prey.
It's as much what makes them effective as their enhanced abilities.]
But I don't want to make this worse just because it's bad already.
[Meaning he doesn't want her to make it worse.]
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So we just do nothing and wait for it to get worse anyways?
(her voice hitches, a mixture of anger and desperation and deep sadness because she hates how helpless she feels. she doesn't know either. if it was the magic of their world -- she'd know it like the back of her hand. but she is out of her depth and it is wearing on her more and more.)
Every minute I do nothing I can feel that collar around my neck pulling tighter and tighter. I would rather die than fall completely under his control.
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[His hand stills on Yennefer's back, touch light but steady, balancing the fear she'll pull away with the need to feel her still there.
It would be a mistake to think he's unaffected.]
We have a plan. We're trying to win favor with Lucifer. If the situation is as serious as you say, then we'll need more power than we have on our own.
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I know that. An acquaintance of mine, Sara, suggested I speak to Lilith. She seemed to think she was more trustworthy. And I have helped with her spells before. (which means she knows lilith is at least familiar with the magic here. that could be useful. she does not pull away from his touch but instead leans into it)
I just that our plan seems to boil down to waiting for someone else to do something. I want to do something.
(but hey, it's progress that she's talking about this with geralt and not just acting impulsively -- it probably helps that she has memories of when they would talk things through -- those memories might be false but they felt real, they still make it a little easier.)
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[Geralt runs his hands through his hair, frustrated. It seems like she thinks he likes this, that he enjoys being passive.]
It's not as though I don't wish there were more for us to do too. But you know as well as I do that sometimes the best thing to do is listen.
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(it's not that she thinks he enjoys being passive, but he's also not the one everyone keeps looking at like a bomb ready to go off. she's trying her best to wait, and to listen, and ironically it's the fact that so many people do seem to expect her to do something rash that has kept her from doing so so far.
spite is powerful motivation. her hands ball up in her lap now.)
Listening has never been my strong suit. And it's not -- I don't think this is easy for you. I didn't intend to imply that.
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[She might not be good at keeping up the act. Geralt has seen Yennefer end more than one of her relationships of convenience. She can never make things last, not forever.
Not that he's one to judge. He has had the luxury of leaving when a job was over.]
We are doing something, Yen.
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(to be fair, it's always harder to keep up her relationships of convenience when he's around. it's annoying, but true.
just like it's annoying but true that gathering the ingredients could just give mammon what he needs to finish things. they need to play smart.)
It'd be so much easier if we just knew the way things worked here. The magic here...is not like the chaos I wield. There are few threats in our world we don't understand between the two of us, but here....
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[And an important one, even if it's deeply troubling. It's the first step to discovering more.
Before they didn't have anything.]
If we can figure out what they did and how, then we can figure out how and what the rules are.
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And how to break them. Or bend them to our needs. Whatever works.
(whatever keeps her from ending up as a lifeless husk. he can probably still hear her heart beating wildly in her chest.)
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It tightens his own chest.]
We will break them in the end. If you ever trusted me, trust I will do everything in my power to that end.
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(yennefer turns to face him, putting her hand up to cup his face. in these moments it's easy to see how much this has taken a toll on him as much as her.)
I do trust you. (if she didn't she would have probably acted without talking to him or tried to manipulate or talk him out of his reservations.)
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The thing is, he wouldn't really blame her if she didn't. Not right now.]
You trust me for some things.
[But not enough to keep her from actin on her own eventually. Rashly, when it happens.]
But you'll do what you feel like you have to.
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I'm trying not to, for what that's worth.
(she is trying to communicate, to trust him, hard as it is. there's a lot maybe she still struggles to trust him with, but she knows he'll do anything within his power to help free her. it just might not be enough. if she fully trusted him maybe she would tell him about the last resort she and tech came up with. he would definitely be against that idea and so she doesn't.
old habits die hard, especially when you feel backed into a corner.)
I suppose the more accurate thing to say is I'm trying to trust you. I'm choosing to. (she doesn't have to say for now for the words to hang in the air all the same.)
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He expects it.
What that information might be, he's less sure of.]
That will have to be good enough. [Because it would be unfair to ask for more. At this point, she doesn't owe him any more than that.] The fact you're trying counts for something.
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(she doesn't say anything in response to that but instead brushes her thumb against his cheek before leaning in to press her lips against his. they haven't kissed since the spell was broken, and maybe it's a mistake to do it now, but she just wants, even for a moment, to feel something other than sadness and desperation. maybe there's not else they can do in this exact moment then offer each other some comfort.)
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Those come back to him now, more than the passionate kisses of their own real rocky relationship.
Missing them is an ache.
He returns this kiss experimentally, more tentative than would normally be his habit.]
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(yennefer remembers how easy it all was at as well. him distracting her from cooking with his large arms around her waist and his warm mouth on her neck. forehead kisses. her kissing him on the cheek as he left for work. soft kisses pressed against his chest in the aftermath of their lovemaking. their marriage may have been an illusion but the memories feel real. maybe that's part of what pushes her to seek comfort from him now, something she may never have done in the past.
her kiss is equally tentative, as if she's trying to figure out what their rhythm should be now. it would be easier maybe if they had fought and collided out of passion, falling back into old habits. still he doesn't pull away or tell her it's a bad idea (though it probably is) so after a few minutes she parts her lips, brushing her tongue against the entrance of his mouth.)
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But it does feel good. Comforting. The touch of Yennefer's tongue sparks a low, gentle warmth in him. It's as tentative as any of it, and so much more fragile than their old passion, but it's more than enough for him to part his lips, fir his tongue to meet hers as he tilts his head and leans into a deeper kiss.]
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(it is comforting. soothing and familiar, both from the lives they really lived and the ones they were brainwashed into. it all blurs together. it feels much more fragile than what they shared before, but maybe that's fitting considering how fragile she herself feels, even if she would never admit it out loud. she remembers finding comfort in his arms, allowing herself to. maybe she can now, even just for a moment.
she sighs softly, letting her violet eyes flutter shut as she sinks into the kiss. she doesn't try to push it into anything else just yet -- not like she might have normally. right now just being close to him like this....feeling like she isn't alone in all this. it's enough.)
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Slowly, Geralt winds his arms around Yennefer. Not to crush her against him, but pulling her carefully closer, looking for the weight and shape of her body, offering his own as reassurance.]
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(maybe that's what she needs to, a feeling like she isn't about to disappear, that she isn't already mammon's slave somehow. whatever has been taken from her, she can still make her own choices, she can still choose who and what she wants. when his arms wrap around her waist she shifts herself so she can climb into his lap, one leg straddling each side of him as she tries to press as close to him as possible. )
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