(she is trying to communicate, to trust him, hard as it is. there's a lot maybe she still struggles to trust him with, but she knows he'll do anything within his power to help free her. it just might not be enough. if she fully trusted him maybe she would tell him about the last resort she and tech came up with. he would definitely be against that idea and so she doesn't.
old habits die hard, especially when you feel backed into a corner.)
I suppose the more accurate thing to say is I'm trying to trust you. I'm choosing to. (she doesn't have to say for now for the words to hang in the air all the same.)
[He listens to her, not interrupting. It would not surprise him to know she's holding information back.
He expects it.
What that information might be, he's less sure of.]
That will have to be good enough. [Because it would be unfair to ask for more. At this point, she doesn't owe him any more than that.] The fact you're trying counts for something.
(she doesn't say anything in response to that but instead brushes her thumb against his cheek before leaning in to press her lips against his. they haven't kissed since the spell was broken, and maybe it's a mistake to do it now, but she just wants, even for a moment, to feel something other than sadness and desperation. maybe there's not else they can do in this exact moment then offer each other some comfort.)
[There's still a part of Geralt for which casual kissing seems normal for them. Natural, as it had been for all of their months of illusory marriage and all of the false memories that came with it. He remembers kissing Yennefer's forehead when he left for work, and wrapping his arms around her from behind as be burried his face in her neck to kissing the slope of her throat. He remembers all of the goodnight kisses, the hello kisses, the surprise kisses when she would try—and succede—at distracting him from his grading.
Those come back to him now, more than the passionate kisses of their own real rocky relationship.
Missing them is an ache.
He returns this kiss experimentally, more tentative than would normally be his habit.]
(yennefer remembers how easy it all was at as well. him distracting her from cooking with his large arms around her waist and his warm mouth on her neck. forehead kisses. her kissing him on the cheek as he left for work. soft kisses pressed against his chest in the aftermath of their lovemaking. their marriage may have been an illusion but the memories feel real. maybe that's part of what pushes her to seek comfort from him now, something she may never have done in the past.
her kiss is equally tentative, as if she's trying to figure out what their rhythm should be now. it would be easier maybe if they had fought and collided out of passion, falling back into old habits. still he doesn't pull away or tell her it's a bad idea (though it probably is) so after a few minutes she parts her lips, brushing her tongue against the entrance of his mouth.)
[When has this thing between them ever been a good idea? There's very little reason to expect that's changed now.
But it does feel good. Comforting. The touch of Yennefer's tongue sparks a low, gentle warmth in him. It's as tentative as any of it, and so much more fragile than their old passion, but it's more than enough for him to part his lips, fir his tongue to meet hers as he tilts his head and leans into a deeper kiss.]
(it is comforting. soothing and familiar, both from the lives they really lived and the ones they were brainwashed into. it all blurs together. it feels much more fragile than what they shared before, but maybe that's fitting considering how fragile she herself feels, even if she would never admit it out loud. she remembers finding comfort in his arms, allowing herself to. maybe she can now, even just for a moment.
she sighs softly, letting her violet eyes flutter shut as she sinks into the kiss. she doesn't try to push it into anything else just yet -- not like she might have normally. right now just being close to him like this....feeling like she isn't alone in all this. it's enough.)
[That's enough for him. That proof she's here, that she's solid and real, and not about the disappear the way that their life together did, that their daughters did...
Slowly, Geralt winds his arms around Yennefer. Not to crush her against him, but pulling her carefully closer, looking for the weight and shape of her body, offering his own as reassurance.]
(maybe that's what she needs to, a feeling like she isn't about to disappear, that she isn't already mammon's slave somehow. whatever has been taken from her, she can still make her own choices, she can still choose who and what she wants. when his arms wrap around her waist she shifts herself so she can climb into his lap, one leg straddling each side of him as she tries to press as close to him as possible. )
[It wasn't Geralt's intention to rush Yennefer or to pressure her, but feeling her settle on his lap it reassures him as much as her. More, probably. She feels real. Not just her body, but her personality.
Her need. If it wasn't egotistical to think of it that way.
His arms tightened, heavy around her waist as he curls around her body protectively.]
(if yennefer felt at all rushed or pressured in a way she wasn't comfortable with she would sooner shove him off of her than climb into his lap. but right now his own desire, his need to be close is as reassuring as everything else. the way his arms wrap around her like she's something precious he could lose at any moment.
it feels safe in his arms, not that she would ever say those words, admit that she needs that from him or anyone else. she pulls away just enough to catch her breath, letting her forehead rest against his for a moment. )
[Geralt lets his head rest against Yennefer's, his eyes drifting almost closed. Not quite, though. He doesn't let himself lose sight of her.
There's no doubt that Yennfer is one of the most beautiful women he's ever seen, though that's no coincidence. She'd chosen this face and this body. It's not that alone that makes her beautiful. Pretty faces are easy to find and rarely last.
It's the fire inside of her that makes her attractive. It's also what makes her so unstable.
(are you all right? it's a simple and complicated question. the easy answer is no. she's not all right. she won't be until they find her a way out of this. she won't be able to rest, truly be at peace until she's gotten her freedom and soul back. but there is solace in his arms, the memory of feeling safe in them many times before. they've never properly talked about all that. she's not about to bring that up.)
I'm better than I was when I got here. (it's at least an honest answer. she's not okay, but she's better. and maybe that's all she can hope for. and her heart is racing for reasons beyond anxiety now, which is a pleasant change.)
I just.... (it's so hard for her to simply ask for what she wants or needs from him, even now.)
[Probably that's the fairest answer he can expect. Geralt asked it because he wanted to know, because she's been through a great deal and leave it to Yennefer to ignore the simple fact that anyone would be worn thin by the stress she's under and pretend to be strong right up until the point that the strain snapped her in half.
At the same time, it's not so easy is it?
Her answer tells him a lot, and implicit is the fact that even better, she's not all right.
He offers a nod, his head still close to hers, then brushes a light kiss over the corner of her mouth. A gesture more out of their false life than their real one.]
I don't imagine you expect me to distract you with my stunning conversation.
[He's already said a lot for him, but he has to ask even if it's in a round about way.]
(in some ways this new found intimacy between them feels like something they stole. it belonged to the other them, not the real them. and yet, she doesn't push it away. she almost mimics his actions, pressing her lips against his jaw as a throaty laugh escapes her lips. )
Stimulating as your thoughts can be, I did have something else in mind.
(she appreciates him asking, but as if to chase away any further doubt she grinds her hips against his suggestively.)
[It might be respectful to ask, to be sure. Mostly he just doesn't want to make any mistakes. He's made enough of them with Yennefer.
And both of them are fragile right now.
There can't be any mistaking Yen's intentions now, though, and he can't say he minds it. He kisses her hair, then her ear, his hands sliding over her hips and back, smoothing over her body. Reassuring both of them.]
(they're very good at making mistakes when it comes to one another -- it can't hurt to make sure it was something they both wanted. his hands are big and warm, helping her keep centered in the moment, when the threat to spin out again feels like it could happen at any moment.
she tilts her head up to capture his lips again, putting a little more pressure into it, less uncertainty and carefulness.)
Geralt's thumbs brush over her back, hands spreading as he sinks into the kiss, lips parting slightly in a clear invitation. He'd like to be touching her skin, for her dress to be out of his way so he could feel her warmth directly. He's not in that much of a hurry, though.
Hearing the say her heartbeat changes, her breathing shifts, is intimate enough to start with.]
(she parts her own lips, letting her tongue brush against his as things deepened. it's less tentative than the earlier kiss, not quite their regular passion but not something so unsure of itself either. something in between.
she places her hands on his shoulders, pushing him down onto the mattress -- not because she's in a hurry but because's greedy and wants to climb completely on top of him, to get as close as she can to him while they're still clothed.)
[It doesn't take any pressure at all, just the silent urging of her hands for Geralt to sink back on the bed. He shifts and inches back on the bed, broad chest spread under her fingers.
Even so, he cranes into the kiss, looking for more of her mouth.]
(she didn't really use much pressure, just enough to get her point across. she couldn't actually push him down if he put up a fight -- but he rarely does in these situations -- unless they're fighting for control which happens sometimes, but isn't what this particular encounter is about.
she easily sinks down into the kiss even more as he cranes upward. kissing him is always good -- but right now it feels like more than that, almost like an anchor keeping her in place. she begins to work on slipping her hands beneath his shirt. she just needs to feel more of him. the warmth of his body. the comfort of his slow heartbeat.)
[As much as they've grown since they saw each other last in their own world, and as much as they've been through together here, this is still easier. The emotions behind the kiss may be different, softer, more mature, more complicated than when they were younger, but this is still the language that comes easiest to them.
Kisses to express confusion and support, comfort if she'll have it.]
(she'll take comfort in this manner, she's even craving it though she doesn't always know how to accept it very well. it's hard to discern the difference between empathy and pity sometimes -- and the last thing yennefer wants is anyone's pity.
so she takes each kiss with a mixture of ease and greed as her hands begin to explore the skin and scars beneath his shirt. she groans softly against his lips as the feel of him, that he's solid and real beneath her. whatever has been taken from her, she can still desire him, want him, feel him and care for him in her own way. that matters, right?)
[It matters to Geralt, at least. It's reassuring to him. It feels like Yennefer, not some husk. Not some shell of the woman he's cared for.
His hands move over her slowly, broad and strong, feeling out the shape of her hip, her thighs, reminding himself what she feels like. The warmth and the weight of her, solid and real across his body. She'd be so easy to pick up. To roll over. But he doesn't.
He strokes her and he returns those kisses, his hand slipping inside of her skirt to touch the smooth skin of her legs directly.]
(she would have fought him on it, if he had tried to roll them over. she needs the sense of control right now, but luckily he seems to understand that. verbally they just make a mess of things with one another half the time, but when it comes to this they are often in sync.
a pleasant hum escapes her lips as she feels his hand slip beneath her skirt. it's enough and not enough all at the same time. which is why she reluctantly pulls away just enough to pull off her dress and discard it before she leans down to start kissing him again. she's not trying to rush things...she just wants to feel him directly on her, is all.)
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I'm trying not to, for what that's worth.
(she is trying to communicate, to trust him, hard as it is. there's a lot maybe she still struggles to trust him with, but she knows he'll do anything within his power to help free her. it just might not be enough. if she fully trusted him maybe she would tell him about the last resort she and tech came up with. he would definitely be against that idea and so she doesn't.
old habits die hard, especially when you feel backed into a corner.)
I suppose the more accurate thing to say is I'm trying to trust you. I'm choosing to. (she doesn't have to say for now for the words to hang in the air all the same.)
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He expects it.
What that information might be, he's less sure of.]
That will have to be good enough. [Because it would be unfair to ask for more. At this point, she doesn't owe him any more than that.] The fact you're trying counts for something.
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(she doesn't say anything in response to that but instead brushes her thumb against his cheek before leaning in to press her lips against his. they haven't kissed since the spell was broken, and maybe it's a mistake to do it now, but she just wants, even for a moment, to feel something other than sadness and desperation. maybe there's not else they can do in this exact moment then offer each other some comfort.)
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Those come back to him now, more than the passionate kisses of their own real rocky relationship.
Missing them is an ache.
He returns this kiss experimentally, more tentative than would normally be his habit.]
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(yennefer remembers how easy it all was at as well. him distracting her from cooking with his large arms around her waist and his warm mouth on her neck. forehead kisses. her kissing him on the cheek as he left for work. soft kisses pressed against his chest in the aftermath of their lovemaking. their marriage may have been an illusion but the memories feel real. maybe that's part of what pushes her to seek comfort from him now, something she may never have done in the past.
her kiss is equally tentative, as if she's trying to figure out what their rhythm should be now. it would be easier maybe if they had fought and collided out of passion, falling back into old habits. still he doesn't pull away or tell her it's a bad idea (though it probably is) so after a few minutes she parts her lips, brushing her tongue against the entrance of his mouth.)
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But it does feel good. Comforting. The touch of Yennefer's tongue sparks a low, gentle warmth in him. It's as tentative as any of it, and so much more fragile than their old passion, but it's more than enough for him to part his lips, fir his tongue to meet hers as he tilts his head and leans into a deeper kiss.]
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(it is comforting. soothing and familiar, both from the lives they really lived and the ones they were brainwashed into. it all blurs together. it feels much more fragile than what they shared before, but maybe that's fitting considering how fragile she herself feels, even if she would never admit it out loud. she remembers finding comfort in his arms, allowing herself to. maybe she can now, even just for a moment.
she sighs softly, letting her violet eyes flutter shut as she sinks into the kiss. she doesn't try to push it into anything else just yet -- not like she might have normally. right now just being close to him like this....feeling like she isn't alone in all this. it's enough.)
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Slowly, Geralt winds his arms around Yennefer. Not to crush her against him, but pulling her carefully closer, looking for the weight and shape of her body, offering his own as reassurance.]
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(maybe that's what she needs to, a feeling like she isn't about to disappear, that she isn't already mammon's slave somehow. whatever has been taken from her, she can still make her own choices, she can still choose who and what she wants. when his arms wrap around her waist she shifts herself so she can climb into his lap, one leg straddling each side of him as she tries to press as close to him as possible. )
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Her need. If it wasn't egotistical to think of it that way.
His arms tightened, heavy around her waist as he curls around her body protectively.]
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(if yennefer felt at all rushed or pressured in a way she wasn't comfortable with she would sooner shove him off of her than climb into his lap. but right now his own desire, his need to be close is as reassuring as everything else. the way his arms wrap around her like she's something precious he could lose at any moment.
it feels safe in his arms, not that she would ever say those words, admit that she needs that from him or anyone else. she pulls away just enough to catch her breath, letting her forehead rest against his for a moment. )
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There's no doubt that Yennfer is one of the most beautiful women he's ever seen, though that's no coincidence. She'd chosen this face and this body. It's not that alone that makes her beautiful. Pretty faces are easy to find and rarely last.
It's the fire inside of her that makes her attractive. It's also what makes her so unstable.
He sighs.]
Are you all right?
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(are you all right? it's a simple and complicated question. the easy answer is no. she's not all right. she won't be until they find her a way out of this. she won't be able to rest, truly be at peace until she's gotten her freedom and soul back. but there is solace in his arms, the memory of feeling safe in them many times before. they've never properly talked about all that. she's not about to bring that up.)
I'm better than I was when I got here. (it's at least an honest answer. she's not okay, but she's better. and maybe that's all she can hope for. and her heart is racing for reasons beyond anxiety now, which is a pleasant change.)
I just.... (it's so hard for her to simply ask for what she wants or needs from him, even now.)
Help me forget? Just for a little while?
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At the same time, it's not so easy is it?
Her answer tells him a lot, and implicit is the fact that even better, she's not all right.
He offers a nod, his head still close to hers, then brushes a light kiss over the corner of her mouth. A gesture more out of their false life than their real one.]
I don't imagine you expect me to distract you with my stunning conversation.
[He's already said a lot for him, but he has to ask even if it's in a round about way.]
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(in some ways this new found intimacy between them feels like something they stole. it belonged to the other them, not the real them. and yet, she doesn't push it away. she almost mimics his actions, pressing her lips against his jaw as a throaty laugh escapes her lips. )
Stimulating as your thoughts can be, I did have something else in mind.
(she appreciates him asking, but as if to chase away any further doubt she grinds her hips against his suggestively.)
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And both of them are fragile right now.
There can't be any mistaking Yen's intentions now, though, and he can't say he minds it. He kisses her hair, then her ear, his hands sliding over her hips and back, smoothing over her body. Reassuring both of them.]
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(they're very good at making mistakes when it comes to one another -- it can't hurt to make sure it was something they both wanted. his hands are big and warm, helping her keep centered in the moment, when the threat to spin out again feels like it could happen at any moment.
she tilts her head up to capture his lips again, putting a little more pressure into it, less uncertainty and carefulness.)
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Geralt's thumbs brush over her back, hands spreading as he sinks into the kiss, lips parting slightly in a clear invitation. He'd like to be touching her skin, for her dress to be out of his way so he could feel her warmth directly. He's not in that much of a hurry, though.
Hearing the say her heartbeat changes, her breathing shifts, is intimate enough to start with.]
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(she parts her own lips, letting her tongue brush against his as things deepened. it's less tentative than the earlier kiss, not quite their regular passion but not something so unsure of itself either. something in between.
she places her hands on his shoulders, pushing him down onto the mattress -- not because she's in a hurry but because's greedy and wants to climb completely on top of him, to get as close as she can to him while they're still clothed.)
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Even so, he cranes into the kiss, looking for more of her mouth.]
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(she didn't really use much pressure, just enough to get her point across. she couldn't actually push him down if he put up a fight -- but he rarely does in these situations -- unless they're fighting for control which happens sometimes, but isn't what this particular encounter is about.
she easily sinks down into the kiss even more as he cranes upward. kissing him is always good -- but right now it feels like more than that, almost like an anchor keeping her in place. she begins to work on slipping her hands beneath his shirt. she just needs to feel more of him. the warmth of his body. the comfort of his slow heartbeat.)
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Kisses to express confusion and support, comfort if she'll have it.]
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(she'll take comfort in this manner, she's even craving it though she doesn't always know how to accept it very well. it's hard to discern the difference between empathy and pity sometimes -- and the last thing yennefer wants is anyone's pity.
so she takes each kiss with a mixture of ease and greed as her hands begin to explore the skin and scars beneath his shirt. she groans softly against his lips as the feel of him, that he's solid and real beneath her. whatever has been taken from her, she can still desire him, want him, feel him and care for him in her own way. that matters, right?)
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His hands move over her slowly, broad and strong, feeling out the shape of her hip, her thighs, reminding himself what she feels like. The warmth and the weight of her, solid and real across his body. She'd be so easy to pick up. To roll over. But he doesn't.
He strokes her and he returns those kisses, his hand slipping inside of her skirt to touch the smooth skin of her legs directly.]
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(she would have fought him on it, if he had tried to roll them over. she needs the sense of control right now, but luckily he seems to understand that. verbally they just make a mess of things with one another half the time, but when it comes to this they are often in sync.
a pleasant hum escapes her lips as she feels his hand slip beneath her skirt. it's enough and not enough all at the same time. which is why she reluctantly pulls away just enough to pull off her dress and discard it before she leans down to start kissing him again. she's not trying to rush things...she just wants to feel him directly on her, is all.)
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