Well, I would like to think you'd sooner be jealous over who I keep as friends than your horse, [Jaskier says, wrinkling his nose.] But perhaps that's just wishful thinking.
[He frowns then, although not truly offended or actually speculating either way that Geralt is even remotely jealous. Jaskier's hardly ever known the man to be particularly possessive under most circumstances, never mind jealous. But if his huffy little putting away of his knife was any indication, the silly accusation of it is at least shaking him out of that silent brooding mood he's been trapped in.]
Don't tell me you're actually jealous of your horse favoring someone over you because, Geralt... [He shakes his head a little as he trails off.] You have got to start making more friends if you're more upset about a horse like that. I mean, it's one thing to talk to her as often as you do, it's another to be jealous like that.
I'm not jealous of Roach. I'm not jealous of anyone.
[Geralt's lip almost curled as he denied it again. Roach was a horse, and even if she weren't, jealousy isn't so much in Geralt's nature.
But other things are. Frustration is, and his frustration spills over into his tone and his expression. It knots his jaw. Not Roach, but another woman, one whose mood and attention have always been far more fickle.
Which isn't Jaskier's fault. If Yennefer prefers the bard's company to his own, then so be it.
No, it's not jealousy...]
I just wish if she's going to have a problem with me, she'd say something instead of leaving me to guess what I've done to offend her sensibilities or her ego this time.
[Jaskier catches it before it can be more than a slight and momentary twist of his lips, but he does come quite close to a muttered fuck as the topic of conversation lands so squarely upon Yennefer. Jaskier perhaps should have known that it would end up here eventually regardless of his efforts. Not that he's opposed to Geralt talking about it, of course! If anything, he feels quite the opposite about the matter and if Geralt could consider not sitting on every single feeling that occurs to him, he might be a little less prone to being such a grump at nearly all times. But it's a conversation that should be had with Yennefer. Not Jaskier. And certainly not about this when Jaskier has been sitting on this knowledge literally since the day he arrived in Hell, only continuing to guard it even more closely since Yennefer finally knew as well by feigning ignorance about her avoidance of Geralt.]
[Fucking fuck, he was not prepared for this conversation.]
[Unfortunately, Jaskier can't just worm his way out of the conversation by pretending to be suddenly very asleep. Not that that would work. Geralt can easily hear Jaskier's heartbeat and breathing and know immediately he wasn't really asleep.]
I don't suppose it's ever occurred to you that you haven't done anything, has it? [With a heavy sigh, Jaskier pushes himself upright, swinging his legs around to rest on the floor and sit more properly on the edge of the bed.] I mean, really, Geralt, it's Yennefer. She could look to the sky, find the shape of a cloud disagreeable and decide to make that a problem for the first person she sees.
[Well, not exactly and it's certainly not what's happening here, but Jaskier's broader point is that Yennefer has her own thoughts and reasons that don't always have a linear correlation or make much sense to anyone but herself. And he just hopes Geralt agrees with that point enough not to challenge it much if at all.]
You can trust her, Geralt. Trust the two of you.
[Jaskier pauses there a moment, fixing Geralt with a serious look. Much as he's about to bury the lede a bit by dressing it up in a semi-hyperbolic, semi-realistic portrayal of their patterns that there's really little hope of having it truly replicate when the time comes, Jaskier still wants to emphasize that Geralt's not misplacing his trust. He'd like to think that might ease Geralt's mind a little, but it's probably just as much of a long shot as having Jaskier's words now soften the blow later.]
When she's in a mood and ready, I'm sure she'll give you a litany of things you need to improve upon and you'll get all defensive and go on about how she doesn't let you in or help and then she'll protest she doesn't need help and then once things are heated enough, you two will,— Ah, talk, and that will be that. [He waves a hand dismissively, treating it as though it were all so predictable if not outright boring.] Just like always. And then in a handful of months, we'll be right here again with you stewing and brooding over how difficult she's being and she'll find some new reason to be cross with you, and thus, the cycle repeats itself anew.
And I will continually ask if you're absolutely certain if a really strong bump on the head isn't the explanation for why you keep eagerly jumping straight into this cycle in the first place.
[In some ways, it is simple. Or at the very least, it is predictable. Yennefer can be volatile, and while Geralt usually isn't, she has a way of pulling that side out of him more. It doesn't take a master of the human condition to know that the two of them will cause sparks periodically.
Still.]
It's different. Yennefer always has her reasons, even if they're usually shit reasons.
[Is that fair? Probably not. He knows it when he says it. He knew it before he said it.]
At least if she'd tell me, there might be something I could do about it.
[There isn't any argument from Jaskier when Geralt calls Yennefer's reasons usually shit. As far as Jaskier's concerned, there really isn't much argument that can be made to the contrary of that given Yennefer's...everything. One does not tend to make as many poor choices as she does without there being some element or degree to which there's faulty reasoning behind it. Although that is still quite unfair and even Jaskier recognizes that. She has been doing better. She's been trying.]
Ah! See? [Jaskier says, pointing a finger at Geralt with a grin.] She's not even here telling you whatever absurd thing you did wrong by her measure and you're already grousing about how she doesn't let you help.
[With a wave of his hand, Jaskier drops it back down into his lap and folds his hands together. His smile fades into something quieter and a little more serious as well.]
Unfortunately for you though, Geralt, you love someone who, while quite adept at putting herself into positions wherein she's distressed, doesn't do the other bit of damsel-in-distress all that well. [Jaskier doesn't say it as though that's the right thing for Yennefer to be doing any more than his tone would suggest Geralt needs to let it go and learn to accept it. It's an observation. Nothing more, nothing less. His smile turns a bit wry as he glances away from Geralt.] But you know, it does remind me of something I heard a long time ago. The details escape me now, but I seem to recall a certain witcher claiming he never wanted to need anyone. Or anyone to need him.
[Jaskier lifts his gaze back to Geralt.]
Seems it just takes a bit of time and the right person, doesn't it? [One corner of his mouth lifts, widening his smile to try and keep it from becoming brittle.] I'd say she's got the latter. She just needs a bit more of the former.
[Geralt can't quite start to point out where Jaskier is wrong, because the fact of the matter is that he's not quite wrong. He's not quite right, either. Not from Geralt's point of view. The summary is flippant and hyperbolic, but that describes most of Jaskier's communication style and picking that apart would be both a waste of time and, on some level, unfair. He can't correct Jaskier for telling the truth as he sees it in his own particular way.
But that doesn't make it right.
It also doesn't mean Geralt likes hearing it. He licks his teeth, sitting in his feelings for what seems like a long moment in the way someone might sit in wet clothes after coming out of the rain—somewhat aware that his discomfort is his own choice.]
She could ask for time herself, if it's what she needs. She could at least tell me.
[Jaskier snorts at the suggestion Yennefer would use her words to indicate she wants some space. Of course, that would be the ideal, but the odds of something like that ever happening are about the same Jaskier ever becoming particularly useful in a fight. If that happens, there's a great cause for concern. Although it's also not like he hadn't somewhat mildly encouraged Yennefer to do as much before she simply disappeared from Geralt's life as she has. Jaskier had a feeling it wouldn't land well even if the intention was not particularly malicious.]
Well then, perhaps you could try thinking of this as her telling you she needs time. You know, just in her own Yennefer-y way instead of talking it out like a normal person because if she ever did anything simple or straightforward, that would be the time to panic for all of us because surely life as we know it is coming to an abrupt end soon thereafter.
[When Jaskier points out that a normal person would talk things out, Geralt's lip curls slightly. Yen has never been normal, but then neither has he.
He doesn't exactly have the moral high ground in this—a fact which didn't particularly bother him until he had to verbalize the problem. Out loud, it sounded more petty than it had in his head.
He's not entirely above it, but he doesn't relish the sensation either.]
I don't expect her to talk it out.
[How many problems does talking actually solve anyway? Not maybe in Geralt's experience.
[A more mature person probably wouldn't snigger at that, but Jaskier isn't always (or often, for that matter) a mature person. He doesn't mean to make light of Geralt's frustration or hurt—he would never do that intentionally—but this is about as close to a sulk as he's ever seen the witcher come to doing and there is something a little funny about it. A man who is as serious as the grave be to be almost pouting like a child (in his own, grumbly way) is something it's hard not to see a little humor in.]
Gods, you are in a sulk, aren't you? [He huffs another laugh as he looks down. Jaskier sighs then, moistening his lips a moment before looking back up at his friend, his expression not unkind but certainly more serious. His tone is gentle as it often is when Jaskier is offering and extending his advice, but there's also something firmer about it than Geralt is likely used to hearing.] Look, Geralt. I know you love her more than you love anyone else. And that's why you're sitting here stewing in it. And I know it's tying you up in knots because you want to make it right. You're willing to do whatever it takes to protect her and do right by her. And she knows that, Geralt. She knows all of that.
[And Jaskier knows to some extent, that doesn't make it better. If anything, that probably makes it hurt worse to Geralt that Yennefer can know all of that and still not seemingly trust him enough. But it's not about trusting Geralt or not.]
Despite how cruel and...utterly vindictive she can be, she's not doing this to hurt you, Geralt. [And that's as close as Jaskier can come to saying that it's not a lack of trust or faith in Geralt. He knows it's not his place to say what's Yennefer's reasons for avoiding him even to the smallest degree possible. He can really only offer that vague reassurance, which honestly isn't probably worth shit, but Jaskier has to try something here.] It's just that she doesn't need someone to fix her problems for her. [Never really has, honestly, but not the point right now.] She just needs someone to be patient with her. Just as she's asking you to be in her very roundabout, obnoxious Yennefer way.
So. You can either try to find it in you to have a bit of patience and not start taking on the responsibility of wrongdoing she hasn't thrown at your feet as of yet. Or... [He settles back down into a comfortable position on the bed as he continues,] You can keep up what you're doing now. You can grouse about her not talking to you and I'll remind you that it's Yennefer and why would she ever be so straightforward? And then you can say you know, but you wish she would, and I'll tell you that I agree. It's all very ridiculous and absurd, but that's Yennefer for you. And then you can start grousing about how it's unfair again and you just want to fix things, and then I'll remind once again that it's Yennefer, and— [He lifts his head from the pillow a moment, squinting a little at Geralt.] You see where I'm going with this, right? [Waving a hand, he settles back down and makes himself extra comfortable.] I'm happy to have this circular conversation as many times as you like, but I am having that nap first because I was tired before, but now I'm thoroughly exhausted. Gods, I don't know how you find someone so infuriating to be so appealing. Has your insomnia gotten so bad that she's the only solution? I pity you if that's the case, but if not, Geralt, there are far more pleasant ways to obtain sleep than that.
[Jaskier rolls over, putting his back to Geralt, waving his hand again.]
Well, in any case, you're welcome to join me if you're tired as well. If not, just keep your grumblings to a minimum, please.
I don't think she's doing this to hurt me. I doubt she's thinking of me at all. [Not that she can't be mad at him. She can be, though Jaskier might be right that she's gotten herself twisted over something unrelated.
He does suspect that her sudden silence has to do with him.
Be doesn't think that her intention is to hurt him, though. Oh, Yennefer can lash out, and he imagine's he'd know if it were that.]
She's protecting herself.
[He rolls his shoulders like he's shrugging off a coat or trying to shake off a cold rain.]
I'm done. Talking about it won't change anything. And you've heard enough.
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[He frowns then, although not truly offended or actually speculating either way that Geralt is even remotely jealous. Jaskier's hardly ever known the man to be particularly possessive under most circumstances, never mind jealous. But if his huffy little putting away of his knife was any indication, the silly accusation of it is at least shaking him out of that silent brooding mood he's been trapped in.]
Don't tell me you're actually jealous of your horse favoring someone over you because, Geralt... [He shakes his head a little as he trails off.] You have got to start making more friends if you're more upset about a horse like that. I mean, it's one thing to talk to her as often as you do, it's another to be jealous like that.
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[Geralt's lip almost curled as he denied it again. Roach was a horse, and even if she weren't, jealousy isn't so much in Geralt's nature.
But other things are. Frustration is, and his frustration spills over into his tone and his expression. It knots his jaw. Not Roach, but another woman, one whose mood and attention have always been far more fickle.
Which isn't Jaskier's fault. If Yennefer prefers the bard's company to his own, then so be it.
No, it's not jealousy...]
I just wish if she's going to have a problem with me, she'd say something instead of leaving me to guess what I've done to offend her sensibilities or her ego this time.
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[Fucking fuck, he was not prepared for this conversation.]
[Unfortunately, Jaskier can't just worm his way out of the conversation by pretending to be suddenly very asleep. Not that that would work. Geralt can easily hear Jaskier's heartbeat and breathing and know immediately he wasn't really asleep.]
I don't suppose it's ever occurred to you that you haven't done anything, has it? [With a heavy sigh, Jaskier pushes himself upright, swinging his legs around to rest on the floor and sit more properly on the edge of the bed.] I mean, really, Geralt, it's Yennefer. She could look to the sky, find the shape of a cloud disagreeable and decide to make that a problem for the first person she sees.
[Well, not exactly and it's certainly not what's happening here, but Jaskier's broader point is that Yennefer has her own thoughts and reasons that don't always have a linear correlation or make much sense to anyone but herself. And he just hopes Geralt agrees with that point enough not to challenge it much if at all.]
You can trust her, Geralt. Trust the two of you.
[Jaskier pauses there a moment, fixing Geralt with a serious look. Much as he's about to bury the lede a bit by dressing it up in a semi-hyperbolic, semi-realistic portrayal of their patterns that there's really little hope of having it truly replicate when the time comes, Jaskier still wants to emphasize that Geralt's not misplacing his trust. He'd like to think that might ease Geralt's mind a little, but it's probably just as much of a long shot as having Jaskier's words now soften the blow later.]
When she's in a mood and ready, I'm sure she'll give you a litany of things you need to improve upon and you'll get all defensive and go on about how she doesn't let you in or help and then she'll protest she doesn't need help and then once things are heated enough, you two will,— Ah, talk, and that will be that. [He waves a hand dismissively, treating it as though it were all so predictable if not outright boring.] Just like always. And then in a handful of months, we'll be right here again with you stewing and brooding over how difficult she's being and she'll find some new reason to be cross with you, and thus, the cycle repeats itself anew.
And I will continually ask if you're absolutely certain if a really strong bump on the head isn't the explanation for why you keep eagerly jumping straight into this cycle in the first place.
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[In some ways, it is simple. Or at the very least, it is predictable. Yennefer can be volatile, and while Geralt usually isn't, she has a way of pulling that side out of him more. It doesn't take a master of the human condition to know that the two of them will cause sparks periodically.
Still.]
It's different. Yennefer always has her reasons, even if they're usually shit reasons.
[Is that fair? Probably not. He knows it when he says it. He knew it before he said it.]
At least if she'd tell me, there might be something I could do about it.
[Shit reason or no.]
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Ah! See? [Jaskier says, pointing a finger at Geralt with a grin.] She's not even here telling you whatever absurd thing you did wrong by her measure and you're already grousing about how she doesn't let you help.
[With a wave of his hand, Jaskier drops it back down into his lap and folds his hands together. His smile fades into something quieter and a little more serious as well.]
Unfortunately for you though, Geralt, you love someone who, while quite adept at putting herself into positions wherein she's distressed, doesn't do the other bit of damsel-in-distress all that well. [Jaskier doesn't say it as though that's the right thing for Yennefer to be doing any more than his tone would suggest Geralt needs to let it go and learn to accept it. It's an observation. Nothing more, nothing less. His smile turns a bit wry as he glances away from Geralt.] But you know, it does remind me of something I heard a long time ago. The details escape me now, but I seem to recall a certain witcher claiming he never wanted to need anyone. Or anyone to need him.
[Jaskier lifts his gaze back to Geralt.]
Seems it just takes a bit of time and the right person, doesn't it? [One corner of his mouth lifts, widening his smile to try and keep it from becoming brittle.] I'd say she's got the latter. She just needs a bit more of the former.
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But that doesn't make it right.
It also doesn't mean Geralt likes hearing it. He licks his teeth, sitting in his feelings for what seems like a long moment in the way someone might sit in wet clothes after coming out of the rain—somewhat aware that his discomfort is his own choice.]
She could ask for time herself, if it's what she needs. She could at least tell me.
[He's not done with grumbling yet, apparently.]
Instead of letting us try to read her mind.
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Well then, perhaps you could try thinking of this as her telling you she needs time. You know, just in her own Yennefer-y way instead of talking it out like a normal person because if she ever did anything simple or straightforward, that would be the time to panic for all of us because surely life as we know it is coming to an abrupt end soon thereafter.
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He doesn't exactly have the moral high ground in this—a fact which didn't particularly bother him until he had to verbalize the problem. Out loud, it sounded more petty than it had in his head.
He's not entirely above it, but he doesn't relish the sensation either.]
I don't expect her to talk it out.
[How many problems does talking actually solve anyway? Not maybe in Geralt's experience.
That may be a biased sample, though.]
Just to let me know what she wants.
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Gods, you are in a sulk, aren't you? [He huffs another laugh as he looks down. Jaskier sighs then, moistening his lips a moment before looking back up at his friend, his expression not unkind but certainly more serious. His tone is gentle as it often is when Jaskier is offering and extending his advice, but there's also something firmer about it than Geralt is likely used to hearing.] Look, Geralt. I know you love her more than you love anyone else. And that's why you're sitting here stewing in it. And I know it's tying you up in knots because you want to make it right. You're willing to do whatever it takes to protect her and do right by her. And she knows that, Geralt. She knows all of that.
[And Jaskier knows to some extent, that doesn't make it better. If anything, that probably makes it hurt worse to Geralt that Yennefer can know all of that and still not seemingly trust him enough. But it's not about trusting Geralt or not.]
Despite how cruel and...utterly vindictive she can be, she's not doing this to hurt you, Geralt. [And that's as close as Jaskier can come to saying that it's not a lack of trust or faith in Geralt. He knows it's not his place to say what's Yennefer's reasons for avoiding him even to the smallest degree possible. He can really only offer that vague reassurance, which honestly isn't probably worth shit, but Jaskier has to try something here.] It's just that she doesn't need someone to fix her problems for her. [Never really has, honestly, but not the point right now.] She just needs someone to be patient with her. Just as she's asking you to be in her very roundabout, obnoxious Yennefer way.
So. You can either try to find it in you to have a bit of patience and not start taking on the responsibility of wrongdoing she hasn't thrown at your feet as of yet. Or... [He settles back down into a comfortable position on the bed as he continues,] You can keep up what you're doing now. You can grouse about her not talking to you and I'll remind you that it's Yennefer and why would she ever be so straightforward? And then you can say you know, but you wish she would, and I'll tell you that I agree. It's all very ridiculous and absurd, but that's Yennefer for you. And then you can start grousing about how it's unfair again and you just want to fix things, and then I'll remind once again that it's Yennefer, and— [He lifts his head from the pillow a moment, squinting a little at Geralt.] You see where I'm going with this, right? [Waving a hand, he settles back down and makes himself extra comfortable.] I'm happy to have this circular conversation as many times as you like, but I am having that nap first because I was tired before, but now I'm thoroughly exhausted. Gods, I don't know how you find someone so infuriating to be so appealing. Has your insomnia gotten so bad that she's the only solution? I pity you if that's the case, but if not, Geralt, there are far more pleasant ways to obtain sleep than that.
[Jaskier rolls over, putting his back to Geralt, waving his hand again.]
Well, in any case, you're welcome to join me if you're tired as well. If not, just keep your grumblings to a minimum, please.
Wrapping this up?
He does suspect that her sudden silence has to do with him.
Be doesn't think that her intention is to hurt him, though. Oh, Yennefer can lash out, and he imagine's he'd know if it were that.]
She's protecting herself.
[He rolls his shoulders like he's shrugging off a coat or trying to shake off a cold rain.]
I'm done. Talking about it won't change anything. And you've heard enough.
...Get some sleep.